we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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