lets start a swedish sibling band together
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
