I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
