did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
