i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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