No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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