well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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