I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
