Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's blow job season.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
