If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
two words: eviction party
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
