Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.

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(540): View more from Virginia

there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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(423): View more from Tennessee

no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER

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(707): View more from California

He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat

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