I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
