That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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