did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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