She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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