So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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