is your mom at the bar?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize