weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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