I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
