I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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