no, he came in my armpit
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
