If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
