im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
