Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
