He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
