I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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