I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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