Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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