i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
