She went from zero to smokin in five shots
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
