He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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