sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize