i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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