Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize