FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
