Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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