She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
