sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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