did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
