please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
