there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
