Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
