its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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