he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
