I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
