He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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