I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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