he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
