he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
