Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
