I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
