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Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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