I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
