see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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