Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
