You work out of a Hotel?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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