I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
