Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
