why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
