I just cut my nipple shaving
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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