dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
