just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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