I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
