2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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