1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize