have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
