By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
