I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
