He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My pussy is not your playground.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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