she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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